How to help transition to daycare?
(Collected from Sarah Rosensweet, a parenting coach)
Decide what kind of transition is best for you and your child. Some children and parents do better with a gradual daycare transition. Over the course of a few weeks, slowly increase the amount of time spent with a caregiver, or at a daycare, until full days are reached. Other children and parents find that after an initial get-to-know-you phase, it’s better to start the new routine right away.
Get some books to read about separation. Even a young baby may be able to understand some of the message. There are lots of good ones out there. My personal favourite is Owl Babies by Martin Waddell – the mama owl always comes back! I also love Oh My Baby, Little One written by Kathi Appelt.
Play lots of object permanence games. Hide-and-Seek, Peek-A-Boo, hiding and finding favourite toys. This helps teach your child that you are always there even if he can’t see you and that you will always come back.
Give your child a transitional object. A baby might have a stuffy or blanket to remind her of home and an older child could have a locket with a picture of her parent(s) in it. You can also give your child something of yours that will also have your scent, like a scarf.
Plan to devote the first part of the evening to your baby. Spend the first 30 minutes reading, playing, Be prepared for the baby to want you as soon as he/she sees you.
One mama told me that she sneaks into the house so she can change before her baby sees her so she is ready to play and reconnect as soon as she sees her baby. Make sure to get them laughing and do some physical play. Laughter and time together helps you and your baby process the day and your separation from each other.
Allow yourself to grieve. Recognize your emotions as they come up – acknowledge them and let them move through you. The only way out of a feeling is through it.
What are some tips to a successful drop off:
Saying goodbye:Explain to your child what will be happening. It is important to say “Mama/dada always comes back.” This is important to do before daycare starts and to continue it all through the transition. Even a young child will be able to understand some of what you are saying, especially if you have read separation stories and played object permanence games.
Focus on connection- even when you say goodbye. Draw your child’s attention to when you will be together again. Often we say things like “Oh it will be so fun to… play with your friends, play with the toys they have, play outside” etc. This is understandable- we want our child to feel good about the separation from us so we focus on all the fun she will have. But as you separate from your child- let her know when you’ll be together again and what will happen when you are reunited. “When I pick you up at 5 I will have a snack for you and we will have a big snuggle and walk home together.”
Greet your child’s caregiver warmly and with enthusiasm. Your child has to feel your confidence in the person you have entrusted with his care.
Do not sneak out! Always say goodbye to your baby/child. If you sneak out, it’s easier for you not to hear them cry but it’s harder for your baby. It teaches her that you could disappear at any time and creates tons of anxiety.
Use your special connection ritual to say goodbye. Don’t forget to remind your child explicitly that you always come back.
Make your goodbye cheerful, quick and confident. Your baby has to know that you believe she can handle this!
When you are together again- take a few minutes to “collect” your child emotionally and re-connect- even after a short separation. A special greeting or “hello” ritual helps your child know he’s back in the warmth of your affection and makes the rest of your day easier.
One mama I spoke to recently had these words of wisdom about the transition back to work:
“It’s a huge lesson in letting go of control and allowing other influences to shape your child. It can feel like the first step in accepting that though your child is OF you he is NOT you… Managing your own stress and anxiety and not projecting that onto your child is often the hardest part. I cried in my car after every drop off. Thoughts like “He’s too little… He can’t handle this…” haunted me. 6 weeks later he was thriving. We– mostly me– had survived.”
You will adjust and so will your baby :-)
Another article with a few tips highlighted:
http://peacefulparentsconfidentkids.com/2014/06/5-steps-to-a-peaceful-day-care-drop-off/
Why do kids cry initially during pick up?
The first is that young children don't yet have the logical ability to navigate through a transition, and any transition can make them feel overwhelmed. And when children don't have the words to express this feeling of being overwhelmed, they cry, Dr Woodward says.
(Collected from Sarah Rosensweet, a parenting coach)
Decide what kind of transition is best for you and your child. Some children and parents do better with a gradual daycare transition. Over the course of a few weeks, slowly increase the amount of time spent with a caregiver, or at a daycare, until full days are reached. Other children and parents find that after an initial get-to-know-you phase, it’s better to start the new routine right away.
Get some books to read about separation. Even a young baby may be able to understand some of the message. There are lots of good ones out there. My personal favourite is Owl Babies by Martin Waddell – the mama owl always comes back! I also love Oh My Baby, Little One written by Kathi Appelt.
Play lots of object permanence games. Hide-and-Seek, Peek-A-Boo, hiding and finding favourite toys. This helps teach your child that you are always there even if he can’t see you and that you will always come back.
Give your child a transitional object. A baby might have a stuffy or blanket to remind her of home and an older child could have a locket with a picture of her parent(s) in it. You can also give your child something of yours that will also have your scent, like a scarf.
Plan to devote the first part of the evening to your baby. Spend the first 30 minutes reading, playing, Be prepared for the baby to want you as soon as he/she sees you.
One mama told me that she sneaks into the house so she can change before her baby sees her so she is ready to play and reconnect as soon as she sees her baby. Make sure to get them laughing and do some physical play. Laughter and time together helps you and your baby process the day and your separation from each other.
Allow yourself to grieve. Recognize your emotions as they come up – acknowledge them and let them move through you. The only way out of a feeling is through it.
What are some tips to a successful drop off:
Saying goodbye:Explain to your child what will be happening. It is important to say “Mama/dada always comes back.” This is important to do before daycare starts and to continue it all through the transition. Even a young child will be able to understand some of what you are saying, especially if you have read separation stories and played object permanence games.
Focus on connection- even when you say goodbye. Draw your child’s attention to when you will be together again. Often we say things like “Oh it will be so fun to… play with your friends, play with the toys they have, play outside” etc. This is understandable- we want our child to feel good about the separation from us so we focus on all the fun she will have. But as you separate from your child- let her know when you’ll be together again and what will happen when you are reunited. “When I pick you up at 5 I will have a snack for you and we will have a big snuggle and walk home together.”
Greet your child’s caregiver warmly and with enthusiasm. Your child has to feel your confidence in the person you have entrusted with his care.
Do not sneak out! Always say goodbye to your baby/child. If you sneak out, it’s easier for you not to hear them cry but it’s harder for your baby. It teaches her that you could disappear at any time and creates tons of anxiety.
Use your special connection ritual to say goodbye. Don’t forget to remind your child explicitly that you always come back.
Make your goodbye cheerful, quick and confident. Your baby has to know that you believe she can handle this!
When you are together again- take a few minutes to “collect” your child emotionally and re-connect- even after a short separation. A special greeting or “hello” ritual helps your child know he’s back in the warmth of your affection and makes the rest of your day easier.
One mama I spoke to recently had these words of wisdom about the transition back to work:
“It’s a huge lesson in letting go of control and allowing other influences to shape your child. It can feel like the first step in accepting that though your child is OF you he is NOT you… Managing your own stress and anxiety and not projecting that onto your child is often the hardest part. I cried in my car after every drop off. Thoughts like “He’s too little… He can’t handle this…” haunted me. 6 weeks later he was thriving. We– mostly me– had survived.”
You will adjust and so will your baby :-)
Another article with a few tips highlighted:
http://peacefulparentsconfidentkids.com/2014/06/5-steps-to-a-peaceful-day-care-drop-off/
Why do kids cry initially during pick up?
The first is that young children don't yet have the logical ability to navigate through a transition, and any transition can make them feel overwhelmed. And when children don't have the words to express this feeling of being overwhelmed, they cry, Dr Woodward says.